Baby Sunny | CT Newborn Photographer

I wanted to share with this session my good friend Becky’s emotional and honest words regarding her pregnancy after experiencing loss. In May 2017 she lost their baby, Teddy. Now, two years later, we are celebrating Sunny, their beautiful baby girl born March 23, 2019.

“Almost two years ago I lost my baby. Loss is something that people don’t usually talk about, and that silence can make it even more difficult. I miss Teddy every single day. I wonder what he would have been like had he lived, what things he would have liked and the ways he would have inevitably driven me crazy. Losing him was the worst thing that has ever happened to me, it has punctuated my life with pain, sadness, silence and an empty feeling that will never really go away.
Finding out I was pregnant again was such a complicated mix of emotions. My entire pregnancy was riddled with doubt, fear, anxiety and hope. They call them Rainbow babies. I get the term, the rainbow after the storm, the promise that that storm won’t come again. I just never particularly liked it, but I wasn’t sure why. For nine long months I resisted using that term. But as she grew I spent each new day thankful that she was healthy. I reveled in every kick, I cherished each jab and roll, and even though the heartburn was miserable and my back and hips ached constantly - I was glad that it meant my baby was making it. But the hope and happiness I felt didn’t come miraculously after the storm, spreading across the sky for me to see. They came each morning as I lay in bed waiting to feel her move. They came steadily like the rays of sun, promising nothing but hope, helping to light some of that despair I felt when I lost Teddy. No baby will ever be able to fill that empty space that Teddy left. But Cecilia’s rays of sunshine help to warm me, help to give me hope and help me to see that while nothing is promised, Sunny days come around eventually.”

- Mama Becky